Consider how far removed this is from God’s original plan. God planned for one man and one woman to be joined in marriage to become a “one flesh” union. They are to partner together in true fidelity until death separates them.

Hear what Jesus said, “But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; and they twain shall be one flesh: . . . What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder” (Mark 10:6-9).

Jesus went on to speak of the sin of divorce and remarrying. “Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her. And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery.”

These divine mandates by the Saviour of the world are violated wholesale in our society. The violations are approved by nearly all of professed Christianity which has greatly multiplied the problem. Perhaps you, as a reader, are a victim of such a broken relationship. Is there a remedy? Is there hope? Can broken relationships and broken homes be fixed?

What can spouses do when their partners walk out? What can children do when their parents abandon them? These are tough questions. The old adage, “Misery loves company,” provides little comfort. There is a lot of company in the broken home scenario. But it only magnifies the problem rather than fixing it. Here are some steps to finding God’s way.

• Stop and consider that God is greater than any difficulty. In crises, He welcomes us to seek Him and call upon Him. Consider these wonderful promises found in the Bible. God hears the cry of those who are hurting. “Seek ye the LORD while he may be found, call ye upon him while he is near” (Isaiah 55:6). “Call upon me in the day of trouble: I will deliver thee, and thou shalt glorify me” (Psalm 50:15). “Ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart. And I will be found of you, saith the LORD” (Jeremiah 29:13, 14a).
• Jesus loves you. He died on a cross of wood for your sin (Romans 5:8). “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light” (Matthew 11:28-30).
• Ask God to make you a better person in the present circumstances. Our first impulse is to strike back or run away. These are negative responses. They will lead to more trouble and disappointment. When you let Jesus come into your life, He will steer you in the right direction. He will empower you to forgive, to love those who may be hurting you. Respond in helpful ways, doing your part to show love in action.
• Seek the help of other Christians. Find someone with whom you can share your struggles. Attend a Bible-believing, Bible-practicing church. Pray privately and with others. Read the Bible regularly.
• Seek restoration. Jesus is the great reconciler. He made peace through the blood of His cross. Jesus wants to work in your life and the life of your loved ones to heal broken relationships. Be willing to say, “I am sorry. I was wrong, forgive me” and “I will do better with God’s help.” Look for something good in others and commend it. Pray for ways you can lighten the burden of others around you. Your own burdens will become more bearable.
• Be convinced that regardless of how bad your situation is, God can make you a person of honor and integrity. In our difficulties, God comes near.

In the Bible, read Jonah, Chapter 2. Jonah cried to God from the belly of a great fish, a most hopeless situation. God brought him deliverance. God allowed the Apostle Paul and his shipmates to face a terrible storm with all hope that they could be saved gone. In that desperate situation, God saved them all (Acts 27).

Read Psalm 40. Note particularly the last verse. “I am poor and needy; yet the Lord thinketh upon me: thou art my help and my deliverer; make no tarrying, O my God.”

Jesus taught that all things are possible through Him though they may be impossible with men. Coping with rejection, abandonment, abuse, anger, and contempt by ourselves is impossible, but not so with God. He sent His Son Jesus Christ to heal the brokenhearted and to set at liberty them that are bruised (Luke 4:18). You can find help from Him this very moment. If you need more help, contact the church or organization named on the back of Reaching Out.

J Martin

Mark learned all he could from other, more experienced, growers. He studied articles and books about greenhouse growing. He discovered what worked and what didn’t work. He learned how important it is to pay attention to small details.

Plant nutrition is number one to produce hardy plants. He learned about soil fertility, trace minerals and their benefits. He learned the role of organic matter and soil acidity.

Mark was careful about his plants’ environment. Maintaining the right temperature is exceedingly important. The right amount of moisture is also crucial. He learned the role of sunlight and insect control.

Mark is a Christian. He believes in a God who created the universe with all its marvelous functions. He believes in Jesus Christ, God’s Son, who came to save sinners like himself. He believes in God’s Word, the Bible. From it, he has learned God’s wisdom and moral ethics that stand good as he faces the responsibilities and circumstances of life. Mark believes God wants him to do his best in whatever he does – including the greenhouse work.

Mark is also a parent. He has a lovely wife and six children. As Mark tends his greenhouse, he can’t help comparing his role as a father to his occupation of growing plants and healthy produce.

Stable, successful homes require careful planning and diligent effort just as managing a greenhouse does. As he ponders his role as husband and father, he asks himself if he is giving his work with his family his best. Is he
providing a safe moral structure and wholesome atmosphere for his growing family? Mark decided to list his moral priorities on paper. He outlined what would constitute a safe environment for his family.

Godly Principles

• I will teach my family that God made the world and claims ownership of all, including their lives (Genesis 1). “The earth is the LORD’S, and the fulness thereof; the world, and they that dwell therein” (Psalm 24:1).
• God’s ownership delegates to me a stewardship for which I must give account. “So then every one of us shall give account of himself to God” (Romans 14:12).
• God loves His world and desires a relationship with each of His children. “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life” (John 3:16).
• God’s holy laws are found in the Bible. I will teach and live by God’s laws. “Thy testimonies have I taken as an heritage for ever: for they are the rejoicing of my heart” (Psalm 119:111).
• I can only live God’s law as I yield my life to Jesus Christ, the Saviour of the world. Jesus said, “Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it abide in the vine; no more can ye, except ye abide in me” (John 15:4).
• As much as possible, I will establish family worship of God, a time and a place where we gather as a family to read the Bible and pray. “[Abram] went on his journeys . . . unto the place of the altar, which he had made there at the first: and there Abram called on the name of the LORD” (Genesis 13:3, 4).
• With God’s help I will strive to be a worthy example of godly living for my family. “Now the end of the commandment is charity out of a pure heart, and of a good conscience, and of faith unfeigned [unpretended]” (1 Timothy 1:5).

A Safe Environment

• I will provide a structured order of headship and authority maintained by love and acceptance, loving and caring for my wife and children. I will honor my wife as mother and queen of the family. “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it” (Ephesians 5:25).
• I will provide safe educational opportunities for my children in which Biblical values, ethics, and godly behavior patterns are established (Ephesians 6:4; Proverbs 4:10-13).
• I will guard my home against the evils of television, the Internet, DVDs, cell phones, pornography, and any other morally degrading influences. “Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you, and will be a Father unto you, and ye shall be my sons and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty” (2 Corinthians 6:17, 18).
• I will surround my family with friends and associates that share our values. “[Be] a lover of hospitality, a lover of good men, sober, just, holy, temperate” (Titus 1:8).
• I will be an active participant in a church brotherhood that maintains Bible standards. “If we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin” (1 John 1:7).
• I will give a listening ear to the struggles and difficulties my children face as they cope with challenges that come with maturing age.
• I will teach my children to be givers rather than takers, to be servants rather than lords, to be useful rather than useless, to develop their God-given abilities and use them for the benefit of humanity. “Let ours also learn to maintain good works for necessary uses, that they be not unfruitful” (Titus 3:14).

As Mark reviewed his beliefs and his commitments to do his best as a parent, he felt insufficient for the task. He needed God’s help. Parenting, like tending a greenhouse, requires diligent planning and hard work. Both would be a failure if pursued carelessly.

Mark bowed his head and thanked God for His merciful kindness. He knew that God would bless him in his efforts to raise a family for God. He could not ask for a greater blessing. He prayed that he could encourage others to experience this blessing.

Mark’s experience can be your experience! Turn your life over to Jesus Christ, read the Bible, and apply its teaching to your life and to your family.

–J. Martin

Jesus’ life on earth was a life of perpetual sacrifice. He gave until there was little more to give. His supreme sacrifice of dying on the cross of Calvary for the sins of the world expressed a love that was wholly divine.

John, one of Jesus’ disciples, wrote that Jesus’ life was full of glory. Glory has been defined as the “manifestation of excellence, transcendent splendor, beauty, majesty, in essence, everything that God is.”

In reality, what did John see? He saw a Man that brought light to a dark world. He was love in a world filled with hatred. He was thankfulness in a world of ingratitude. He was contentment in a world of complainers and greed. He was transparent truth in a world of hypocrisy. He was impartial in a world of prejudice. He was unbiased in a world of racial conflict. He was condescending authority in a world of usurpers. He was absolutely selfless in a world of self-centered people.

Jesus was forgiveness to the erring, bread to the hungry, sight to the blind. He was strength to the weak and health to the sick. He was kindness in a world of hurting people. He was true humility in a world of proud men. He was infinite patience with feeble, faltering, stumbling humanity. He was a restorer of the penitent and a comfort to the brokenhearted.

Jesus said, “The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he hath anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor; he hath sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to preach deliverance to the captives, and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty them that are bruised” (Luke 4:18).

Jesus was like the true Shepherd who would leave the ninety-nine sheep and go out into the mountains to search for the lamb that had strayed from the flock. He was like the kind father who welcomed the prodigal son home with open arms and made him a feast.

This Jesus still lives today. He is the only One who can give true meaning and purpose to a marriage. He is the only one who can give intimacy its ecstatic fulfillment. Why? Because He is the originator of marriage and the protector of this sacred union.

Come to Jesus, husbands, wives, parents. Come with all your anxieties, stresses, perplexities, and difficulties and lay them at Jesus’ feet. He has promised to receive all who come to Him in true faith. “All that the Father giveth me shall come to me; and him that cometh to me I will in no wise cast out” (John 6:37).

Only Jesus can help you to experience true love in its completeness because He is the essence of love. Only He can help you mend fractured and violated wedding vows because He is the Prince of Peace and the great reconciler (2 Corinthians 5:18, 19).

Jesus alone has power to make our marriages productive and enduring. We must give Him His rightful place in our minds and in our homes. Begin each day with prayer for His guidance and direction in your life. Begin by reading the four Gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John) regularly. As you do, you will see the glory that John saw. Then let that glory fill your being with gratitude and worship. Ask Jesus to make you His child and perfect His image in you.

At this time of the year when people celebrate the birth of Christ and their attention turns to the Christ Child, will you experience the power of Christ’s grace that will make your home glow with heavenly love? Only then can the marriage and family enjoy the triumph of Jesus as the Saviour of the world and the Saviour of your home.

This transformation of your home is free. You don’t have to pay an expensive counselor to experience it. If you have doubts or questions, contact the name on the back of this paper. Someone will help you or point you to someone who will. May God bless all of you to find a joyful and prosperous New Year in Jesus Christ.

Happy the home where Jesus’ Name,
Is sweet to every ear,
Where children early lisp His fame,
And parents hold Him dear.
—Henry Ware the Younger

–J. Martin

Marriage is like a ship sailing across the ocean. For the journey to be successful there needs to be a captain, a compass, a source of power, and an anchor. There also need to be provisions and adequate supplies.

The journey may be smooth, but it is realistic to expect storms and turbulence. Sickness and death may occur. Relationships are tested. Supplies get depleted. To arrive safely is nothing less than a miracle, though many times people simply call it “good luck.”

Lasting marriages are built on love, truth, and commitment. The rest of this article will deal with our commitments. Commitment is defined as our pledge or promise to keep our word.

I. Commitment to the “Captain”

The captain of the ship is the one who navigates the ship and keeps it on course. In the home, while the husband is responsible to chart and map the course of the new home, he is not able of himself to always make wise decisions. No one has all the wisdom and insights to see ahead far enough to negotiate the dangers that are unforeseeable.

I want to introduce you to my Captain. He is Jesus Christ, the Son of God, and the Saviour of the world. Jesus has all wisdom, all knowledge, and all power. “Jesus came and spake unto them, saying, All power is given unto me in heaven and in earth” (Matthew 28:18).

He knows the way because He is the way (John 14:6). He gives us the map for the journey—the Bible. In it, he tells the husband how to love his wife and shows how the wife can reverence her husband. If you make Jesus the Captain of your marriage, He will guide you through rough seas when misunderstandings, difficulties, and unexpected twists threaten to wreck your marriage. In those moments He says, “Trust Me, follow Me, and bring Me your cares, your doubts, your fears, your troubles. Let Me pilot your marriage.”

II. Commitment to a Compass

Just as it would be insane to begin a journey across the desert without a guide, so it would be to cross the ocean without a compass. This is also true of marriage. I already introduced you to the Bible as the guide for life. “Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path” (Psalm 119:105). “Though the Lord give you the bread of adversity, and the water of affliction, yet shall not thy teachers be removed into a corner any more, but thine eyes shall see thy teachers: and thine ears shall hear a word behind thee, saying, This is the way, walk ye in it, when ye turn to the right hand, and when ye turn to the left” (Isaiah 30:20, 21).

Read the Bible. Let it be your daily meditation. God promises it will show you God’s best, making you wise unto salvation (2 Timothy 3:15). What better relaxation can the husband and wife share than to spend time with the Bible? Try it.

III. Commitment to a Source of Power

Ships do not empower themselves. They need an engine. Neither do marriages thrive on their own steam. Good marriages are not the result of fate or chance or good luck. There is planning, purpose, and divine intent. When Jesus ascended into Heaven He promised to send a Comforter – the Holy Spirit—to guide and to empower us to live victoriously (John 16:13).

God’s Holy Spirit helps us to understand ourselves, our spouse, and how to interpret and apply Bible truth to every experience we face in marriage. I encourage you to prove this to be true. The Holy Spirit is given to those who obey the captain, Jesus Christ (Acts 5:32). Those who follow the captain and are taught by the Holy Spirit are able to understand the road map. Marriages built on this foundation experience a richness of love, peace, and fidelity that is rare in our present culture.

IV. Commitment to an Anchor

Ships need anchors. Anchors keep them from drifting while resting in the harbor. The anchor of successful marriages is simply the old time traditional values. The commitment to love and cherish your spouse “in health and sickness, prosperity and adversity, until death do you part” is of greatest importance. Divorce is not an option. The promise to love and cherish is unconditional. With such resolve, a Captain who knows the way, and the Holy Spirit to guide you, no storm can sink your ship.

V. Commitment to Maintain Adequate Supplies

Ships need provisions for the journey. So do marriages. The number one provision is communication. Be open with each other about your ideals, your temptations, your feelings, your inspirations, and aspirations. Listen to each other, not just with your ears but with your heart.

The second provision is time. Take time to be alone and enjoy each other’s company. Take time together to read the road map and consider where you are in your journey. Take time together to consider how you can improve your marriage. Take time to worship your Creator and Saviour.

The third provision is financial responsibility. Husbands make it a priority to be a provider. Wives make it a priority to use their husband’s wages for the home wisely. He makes it first. You help make it last. Contentment and diligence will make your married journey much more peaceful.

There are other provisions we could talk about. Let this suffice for now. Remember, you need a Captain, a compass, a source of power, an anchor, and adequate supplies for your journey.

J. Martin

Jobs are insecure. Retirement investments vanish, and disappear like smoke in the wind. What seemed secure and stable a year ago is today vulnerable and unstable! Without question this brings stress into marriage relationships and parent-child relationships.

What are our options when we become jobless or homeless? What are our options when we can no longer meet our obligations, pay our bills, or provide for our families? While we cannot provide answers to all of the above questions, we can offer some basic Bible principles that will help us look at our situation objectively.

Fear God

There are many promises in the Bible for those who fear God. “O fear the LORD, ye his saints: for there is no want to them that fear him” (Psalm 34:9).

Fearing God is not being afraid of Him as if He were a sovereign ready to punish and to destroy us. Rather, it is worshipping God and reverencing Him for who He is, the Creator, the provider, the protector of His children. Fearing God is believing and knowing that His Word is true, His promises sure, and His commandments are to be obeyed.

“The fear of the LORD is to hate evil: pride, and arrogancy, and the evil way, and the froward [stubborn and disobedient] mouth” (Proverbs 8:13).

When we begin to hate evil we learn to abhor sin and everything that is in opposition to God’s righteous standard. You may ask, “What has this to do with economics or loss of job or credits?” Very much. Sin is costly at best. Sin is what brings economic woes upon a nation and upon the people of the nation.

Drinking, smoking, drugs, gambling, partying, and indulging in expensive or unnecessary entertainment consume finances that could be used for family necessities. Disconnect the T.V. and use the time for family interaction. Story time with children creates memories and bonding that money cannot buy.

The fear of God causes us to turn our eyes toward Him and away from our troubles. Hear what the Psalmist David said, “I sought the LORD, and he heard me, and delivered me from all my fears. This poor man cried, and the LORD heard him, and saved him out of all his troubles” (Psalm 34:4, 6).

Trust in God

“Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths” (Proverbs 3:5, 6).

The abundance of material things has made our lives complex and complicated. Numerous demands are made on us by society. Our wants, not our needs, become mandatory. We need God”s guidance and wisdom to help us sort through what is practical and necessary and what is unnecessary.

There are only two basic objects of trust- God, or man with all his inventions. Many people have chosen to trust man instead of God.

We are learning the hard way that trusting in the institutions and wisdom of men is disappointing. The stock market crashes. Business schemes cause investments to vanish, the bank forecloses on our property, or the company we had so much confidence in folds up and we lose our job.

We believe God can use all these failures to get us to turn our hearts to Him and learn to trust in Him. He alone is trustworthy. Read Psalm 50 in the Bible. Note verse 15: “Call upon me in the day of trouble: I will deliver thee, and thou shalt glorify me.”

Every day we need to make many decisions. Perhaps you are bombarded with a multitude of advisors saying, “You should do this, you must do that, or do it this way.” While they mean well, they often only add to the complexity.

On the other hand, if we turn to God and give Him our trust and loyalty, He will superintend our lives to do His will. Placing our trust and confidence in the Lord simplifies life and makes it more manageable. “The LORD is good, a strong hold in the day of trouble; and he knoweth them that trust in him” (Nahum 1:7).

Follow the Teachings of Jesus

Matthew 6:31-34 reminds us of where to put our trust. “Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed? (For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things. But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.”

Jesus taught us how to relate to material things. “Take heed, and beware of covetousness: for a man’s life consisteth not in the abundance of the things which he possesseth. The life is more than meat, and the body is more than raiment. Consider the ravens: for they neither sow nor reap; which neither have storehouse nor barn; and God feedeth them: how much more are ye better than the fowls?” (Luke 12:15, 23, 24).

These teachings of Jesus are not suggesting irresponsibility, but rather encourage us to place our faith and trust in the Creator and Sustainer of the universe. We are more than physical beings who need food and clothes for survival. We are also spiritual and emotional creatures that are answerable to our Creator and to each other.

God is pleased when we bring all our perplexities, difficulties, and burdens to Him in prayer. “Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you” (1 Peter 5:7). “Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee” (Hebrews 13:5).

If we choose to ignore our heavenly Father and refuse to acknowledge His commandments and promises, can we blame Him for our troubles? God is waiting and ready to receive all who come to Him in faith. He forgives those who are repentant and restores those who plead for mercy.

The economy crisis will prove to be a blessing if we turn away from our greed, selfishness, and extravagance, and learn to live in simple faith and trust. In living more simply we have more time for family and neighbors and community service. We will develop appreciation for the nobler virtues of life- a caring attitude, a sensitivity to others” feelings, an understanding compassion for growing children and youth, and an awareness of God”s hand in the small details of life. Can we thank God for the lesson?

-by J. Martin