Marriage is like a ship sailing across the ocean. For the journey to be successful there needs to be a captain, a compass, a source of power, and an anchor. There also need to be provisions and adequate supplies.

The journey may be smooth, but it is realistic to expect storms and turbulence. Sickness and death may occur. Relationships are tested. Supplies get depleted. To arrive safely is nothing less than a miracle, though many times people simply call it “good luck.”

Lasting marriages are built on love, truth, and commitment. The rest of this article will deal with our commitments. Commitment is defined as our pledge or promise to keep our word.

I. Commitment to the “Captain”

The captain of the ship is the one who navigates the ship and keeps it on course. In the home, while the husband is responsible to chart and map the course of the new home, he is not able of himself to always make wise decisions. No one has all the wisdom and insights to see ahead far enough to negotiate the dangers that are unforeseeable.

I want to introduce you to my Captain. He is Jesus Christ, the Son of God, and the Saviour of the world. Jesus has all wisdom, all knowledge, and all power. “Jesus came and spake unto them, saying, All power is given unto me in heaven and in earth” (Matthew 28:18).

He knows the way because He is the way (John 14:6). He gives us the map for the journey—the Bible. In it, he tells the husband how to love his wife and shows how the wife can reverence her husband. If you make Jesus the Captain of your marriage, He will guide you through rough seas when misunderstandings, difficulties, and unexpected twists threaten to wreck your marriage. In those moments He says, “Trust Me, follow Me, and bring Me your cares, your doubts, your fears, your troubles. Let Me pilot your marriage.”

II. Commitment to a Compass

Just as it would be insane to begin a journey across the desert without a guide, so it would be to cross the ocean without a compass. This is also true of marriage. I already introduced you to the Bible as the guide for life. “Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path” (Psalm 119:105). “Though the Lord give you the bread of adversity, and the water of affliction, yet shall not thy teachers be removed into a corner any more, but thine eyes shall see thy teachers: and thine ears shall hear a word behind thee, saying, This is the way, walk ye in it, when ye turn to the right hand, and when ye turn to the left” (Isaiah 30:20, 21).

Read the Bible. Let it be your daily meditation. God promises it will show you God’s best, making you wise unto salvation (2 Timothy 3:15). What better relaxation can the husband and wife share than to spend time with the Bible? Try it.

III. Commitment to a Source of Power

Ships do not empower themselves. They need an engine. Neither do marriages thrive on their own steam. Good marriages are not the result of fate or chance or good luck. There is planning, purpose, and divine intent. When Jesus ascended into Heaven He promised to send a Comforter – the Holy Spirit—to guide and to empower us to live victoriously (John 16:13).

God’s Holy Spirit helps us to understand ourselves, our spouse, and how to interpret and apply Bible truth to every experience we face in marriage. I encourage you to prove this to be true. The Holy Spirit is given to those who obey the captain, Jesus Christ (Acts 5:32). Those who follow the captain and are taught by the Holy Spirit are able to understand the road map. Marriages built on this foundation experience a richness of love, peace, and fidelity that is rare in our present culture.

IV. Commitment to an Anchor

Ships need anchors. Anchors keep them from drifting while resting in the harbor. The anchor of successful marriages is simply the old time traditional values. The commitment to love and cherish your spouse “in health and sickness, prosperity and adversity, until death do you part” is of greatest importance. Divorce is not an option. The promise to love and cherish is unconditional. With such resolve, a Captain who knows the way, and the Holy Spirit to guide you, no storm can sink your ship.

V. Commitment to Maintain Adequate Supplies

Ships need provisions for the journey. So do marriages. The number one provision is communication. Be open with each other about your ideals, your temptations, your feelings, your inspirations, and aspirations. Listen to each other, not just with your ears but with your heart.

The second provision is time. Take time to be alone and enjoy each other’s company. Take time together to read the road map and consider where you are in your journey. Take time together to consider how you can improve your marriage. Take time to worship your Creator and Saviour.

The third provision is financial responsibility. Husbands make it a priority to be a provider. Wives make it a priority to use their husband’s wages for the home wisely. He makes it first. You help make it last. Contentment and diligence will make your married journey much more peaceful.

There are other provisions we could talk about. Let this suffice for now. Remember, you need a Captain, a compass, a source of power, an anchor, and adequate supplies for your journey.

J. Martin

Jobs are insecure. Retirement investments vanish, and disappear like smoke in the wind. What seemed secure and stable a year ago is today vulnerable and unstable! Without question this brings stress into marriage relationships and parent-child relationships.

What are our options when we become jobless or homeless? What are our options when we can no longer meet our obligations, pay our bills, or provide for our families? While we cannot provide answers to all of the above questions, we can offer some basic Bible principles that will help us look at our situation objectively.

Fear God

There are many promises in the Bible for those who fear God. “O fear the LORD, ye his saints: for there is no want to them that fear him” (Psalm 34:9).

Fearing God is not being afraid of Him as if He were a sovereign ready to punish and to destroy us. Rather, it is worshipping God and reverencing Him for who He is, the Creator, the provider, the protector of His children. Fearing God is believing and knowing that His Word is true, His promises sure, and His commandments are to be obeyed.

“The fear of the LORD is to hate evil: pride, and arrogancy, and the evil way, and the froward [stubborn and disobedient] mouth” (Proverbs 8:13).

When we begin to hate evil we learn to abhor sin and everything that is in opposition to God’s righteous standard. You may ask, “What has this to do with economics or loss of job or credits?” Very much. Sin is costly at best. Sin is what brings economic woes upon a nation and upon the people of the nation.

Drinking, smoking, drugs, gambling, partying, and indulging in expensive or unnecessary entertainment consume finances that could be used for family necessities. Disconnect the T.V. and use the time for family interaction. Story time with children creates memories and bonding that money cannot buy.

The fear of God causes us to turn our eyes toward Him and away from our troubles. Hear what the Psalmist David said, “I sought the LORD, and he heard me, and delivered me from all my fears. This poor man cried, and the LORD heard him, and saved him out of all his troubles” (Psalm 34:4, 6).

Trust in God

“Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths” (Proverbs 3:5, 6).

The abundance of material things has made our lives complex and complicated. Numerous demands are made on us by society. Our wants, not our needs, become mandatory. We need God”s guidance and wisdom to help us sort through what is practical and necessary and what is unnecessary.

There are only two basic objects of trust- God, or man with all his inventions. Many people have chosen to trust man instead of God.

We are learning the hard way that trusting in the institutions and wisdom of men is disappointing. The stock market crashes. Business schemes cause investments to vanish, the bank forecloses on our property, or the company we had so much confidence in folds up and we lose our job.

We believe God can use all these failures to get us to turn our hearts to Him and learn to trust in Him. He alone is trustworthy. Read Psalm 50 in the Bible. Note verse 15: “Call upon me in the day of trouble: I will deliver thee, and thou shalt glorify me.”

Every day we need to make many decisions. Perhaps you are bombarded with a multitude of advisors saying, “You should do this, you must do that, or do it this way.” While they mean well, they often only add to the complexity.

On the other hand, if we turn to God and give Him our trust and loyalty, He will superintend our lives to do His will. Placing our trust and confidence in the Lord simplifies life and makes it more manageable. “The LORD is good, a strong hold in the day of trouble; and he knoweth them that trust in him” (Nahum 1:7).

Follow the Teachings of Jesus

Matthew 6:31-34 reminds us of where to put our trust. “Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed? (For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things. But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.”

Jesus taught us how to relate to material things. “Take heed, and beware of covetousness: for a man’s life consisteth not in the abundance of the things which he possesseth. The life is more than meat, and the body is more than raiment. Consider the ravens: for they neither sow nor reap; which neither have storehouse nor barn; and God feedeth them: how much more are ye better than the fowls?” (Luke 12:15, 23, 24).

These teachings of Jesus are not suggesting irresponsibility, but rather encourage us to place our faith and trust in the Creator and Sustainer of the universe. We are more than physical beings who need food and clothes for survival. We are also spiritual and emotional creatures that are answerable to our Creator and to each other.

God is pleased when we bring all our perplexities, difficulties, and burdens to Him in prayer. “Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you” (1 Peter 5:7). “Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee” (Hebrews 13:5).

If we choose to ignore our heavenly Father and refuse to acknowledge His commandments and promises, can we blame Him for our troubles? God is waiting and ready to receive all who come to Him in faith. He forgives those who are repentant and restores those who plead for mercy.

The economy crisis will prove to be a blessing if we turn away from our greed, selfishness, and extravagance, and learn to live in simple faith and trust. In living more simply we have more time for family and neighbors and community service. We will develop appreciation for the nobler virtues of life- a caring attitude, a sensitivity to others” feelings, an understanding compassion for growing children and youth, and an awareness of God”s hand in the small details of life. Can we thank God for the lesson?

-by J. Martin

They Were Well Fortified

Most castles either were built on a hill or were surrounded by a moat, a body of water similar to a canal. You needed to cross a bridge to get to the castle.

For our homes to be functional and successful, they too need to be fortified with love.

Not just any love will do. It must be Jesus’ kind of love-the kind that gives and sacrifices and suffers without complaining and feeling sorry for oneself. (John 13:34).

There are many enemies threatening our homes in an effort to destroy them. Selfishness, ill will, and hatred are the worst. When Jesus’ kind of love pervades the home atmosphere these enemies are held outside at a safe distance. The moat that surrounds our house is God’s Word, the Bible. The drawbridge is God’s truth.

How is it in your home? What fortifications do you have? We live in modern times. The TV, radio, and Internet can all bypass the drawbridge. They become potential pipelines in bringing evil into our homes. They can subtly detract from our experiencing true love, contentment, and peace, with counterfeit sensuality, free love (it’s not free), hatred, and murder.

The number of dysfunctional homes is multiplying in America. Marriage vows are broken, commitments fail, paternal love is cold, and domestic violence of shocking proportions stings our ears. The home castle that once was invincible now lies in ruin. You ask why?

We have forgot God, truth, and righteousness. The words of the Prophet Isaiah fit our generation: “The earth also is defiled under the inhabitants thereof; because they have transgressed the laws, changed the ordinance, broken the everlasting covenant. Therefore hath the curse devoured the earth, and they that dwell therein are desolate: therefore the inhabitants of the earth are burned, and few men left” (Isaiah 24:5, 6).

But there is hope. “Ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart” (Jeremiah 29:13). Our God is ever ready to forgive and come to our aid and help us to be fortified with solid principles of truth. Read Jeremiah 29:11, 12. He will help us rebuild the castle and take control.

There Was an Order of Command

Every castle was ruled by a duke or an earl or the King himself. There were guards who patrolled the premise and kept a watchful eye on all the coming and going. Every occupant worked for the protection and safety of the gate.

Our homes need fathers who are responsible, who are actively providing leadership-fathers who care for the family are safety conscious. They don’t let their children play with knives, guns, or gasoline. They won’t expose their children to X-rated movies and videos. Free access to the Internet will be forbidden.

Successful leadership gives constructive teaching and discipline. It teaches cause and consequence. It shows the reward of diligence, honesty, trustworthiness, courtesy, and academic perseverance. Good leadership also prioritizes on relationships. The Scripture command for husbands to love their wives (Ephesians 5:25) and nurture their children (Ephesians 6:14) establishes a precedent of goodwill in the home. The enemy-partiality, favoritism, evil surmising, and imaginations-is routed when love, goodwill, and fairness fragrance the home atmosphere.

The husband who guards the home castle recognizes the contributing role of his wife. Her intuitive wisdom is sought and considered in all the major decisions. She is given freedom to exercise her feminine role in homemaking and social graces that give sparkle to life. The husband and wife who team together will win the conquest.

Art

The few castles I was in all had their art rooms. These were ancient paintings and sculptures of renowned historical events. There were scenes of beautiful landscapes, decorated with gorgeous sunrises and sunsets.

Every home castle needs its art. Primarily these are the children who grace the home. They are not brats and unwanted interferences. They are the welcome gems, jewels, and stars that adorn the crown of parenthood.

This is true only to the extent we embrace the Judeo-Christian teaching of one man, one woman joined together in holy matrimony. Psalms 127 and 128 describe the beauty of this scenario. Consider verse three of Psalm 128: “Thy wife shall be as a fruitful vine by the sides of thine house: thy children like olive plants round about thy table.” Isn’t that beautiful!

Contributing to this scene of beauty is order-a scheduled rising time, bedtime, and mealtimes. The family lives and functions together. They communicate. They share their plans, their experiences (both the good and the embarrassing ones). They learn from their own and each other’s mistakes. They develop and grow up together.

Dear reader, make your home a castle even if it is just a meager hut. Fortify it with truth and love! Command it with diligence and affection. Beautify it with obedient children. Heaven will tell the rest of the story!

by J Martin

Seek to Know God

“Ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart” (Jeremiah 29:13). This is one of the wonderful promises in the Bible. The wise man Solomon wrote that to find God, and to learn the wisdom of God, is worth more than rubies, silver, and gold (Proverbs 3:13-15; 8:10-11; 16:16). God is love, light, truth, holy, and righteous. God is also forgiving when we repent of our sins and turn to Him.

We can see God in the created universe. All nature speaks of His almighty power and wisdom. But it is in His Holy Word where we find Him best. Open the Bible each day and pray for a revelation of God’s truth to your heart. Read how He promised a Redeemer and Saviour, to save us from our sins. Read how the Redeemer was His beloved Son that came to earth, and lived, and taught the truth of God.

Jesus, the Son of God, was both the suffering servant, and the triumphant King, who is coming again to reward those who believe in Him and love Him. The very best thing we can do for our children is to follow in the steps of our blessed Saviour and Lord, and teach them the wisdom of God’s Word.

God is also found among His disciples—His followers. Find a Bible-believing, Bible-practicing church and make yourself accountable. Psalm 89:7 says that God is “greatly to be feared [reverence, worshiped] in the assembly of the saints, and to be had in reverence of all them that are about him.” Being accountable to other Christians is a safety check, as well as a spiritual and emotional stimulant. All of us need encouragement and direction. In a faithful, God-fearing brotherhood, you will find both.

Express Christlike Love to Every Family Member

Christ’s love for us was self-sacrificing. He gave, and gave, and gave till there was nothing left to give. He gave His very own lifeblood in death, on Calvary’s cross. It is as a poet once expressed: “It was love that held Christ to the cross. There were no nails strong enough to hold the Son of God on the cross. It was love, only love that could do so.”

You mothers know, in a measure, this self-sacrificing love, when you enter intomotherhood and give birth. You express it when you spend sleepless nights and weary days feeding, nurturing, tending, and caring for your little ones. You express it when you give yourself unselfishly to meeting your husband’s social and emotional needs.

Yet it is the husband’s role to image the self-sacrificing love of Jesus. You do this by loving your wife unconditionally. In my wedding vow, I promised to love my wife, “cherish her, to provide and care for her, in health and sickness, in prosperity and adversity, exercise patience, kindness, and forbearance toward her, and to live with her in peace, as becometh a faithful husband, and forsaking all others, to keep myself only unto her, as long as we both shall live.”

To keep such a promise is only possible with the enabling strength and power of God. We husbands cannot love unconditionally unless we really know the love of Christ in our own experience. Honesty and humility require us to acknowledge our failures and our inability to love perfectly, in and of ourselves. All the counselors, all the instruction booklets (as helpful as they are) cannot make us be self-sacrificing, loving husbands and fathers.

Let Jesus Rule

If we let Jesus rule in our heart, He can and will teach us to listen, to feel, to be patient, to be kind, to be forgiving, and to be understanding. By following the Bible, we learn to be responsible for the care our spouse requires. We learn how to teach, train, and nurture our children. We learn how to set the example of obedience, faith, cooperation, trust, forgiveness, and accountability. Self-sacrificing love considers no sacrifice too great when that sacrifice contributes to the spiritual, emotional, and physical benefit of the family.

Begin 2009 with these two basic goals: seek to know God, and seek to know the self-sacrificing love of Jesus Christ. The path to this knowledge may not be easy; in fact, Jesus said it wouldn’t be easy. Hear His words in Matthew 16:24, 25: “Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me. For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it.”

-by J. Luke Martin

John and Deborah (not their real names) listened attentively as the guest speaker spoke from the Bible. He read from Mark 10: 2-12. He emphasized the fact that Jesus came to restore the original design of marriage that God designed at Creation. Jesus taught that marriage is the joining of heart and hand of one man and one woman in a oneflesh relationship until the death of one or the other. Breaking that bond by either party and marrying another is adultery.

God is interested in the social and emotional stability of the home and family. It is to be a home where moral purity and social interaction can be enjoyed without the confusion of broken promises and corrupted and perverted behavior. The godly home is a one man and one woman relationship of love and fidelity. “Love,” the minister said, “is only true love when it is expressed in the framework of holiness.”

“Be ye holy for I am holy.” This was God’s commandment to Israel when He delivered them from Egypt. This commandment is repeated for us in 1 Peter 1:15, 16. “But as he which hath called you is holy, so be ye holy in all manner of conversation. ” To be holy means to be separate from sin. It is living and walking in the light of truth. It is choosing to live according to the Word of God rather than the world’s or society’s standard.

The speaker went on to explain that holiness in marriage involves a lifelong commitment. It is a commitment to be true to each other regardless of circumstances. We all know that physical beauty is fading; health may fail. Financial reverses may come; friends may prove false. The list goes on. Married partners who are committed to Jesus Christ and each other weather these storms and become the better because of them. This concept of marriage is a commitment of love that transcends all difficulties. To be holy in marriage is to be true.

Divine holiness jealously guards the atmosphere and the home environment. As John and Deborah considered the reality of this truth, they knew they would need to make some changes. These changes took time and serious consideration.

Number 1: They began to see the unholy presentation of marriage, sex, violence, sports, and crime in the media, especially the television. To continue to watch television could only produce more of the same. Would the television need to go? What would their friends think? Would it be hard for the children? They found freedom and peace in avoiding evil.

Number 2: They began to see that free access to the Internet and the pornography found there was dangerous to their marriage and family life. They would seek to eliminate the evils found there. How could they expect their children to develop sound morals if they had access to such moral filth and perversion?

Number 3: John and Deborah soon saw the negative influence the public school system had on their children. They decided that, as Christians, they would be selective with their children’s education. Holiness requires a proper concept of truth. The Bible and Bible-based textbooks and literature would become their source for the educational development of their children. They began by honoring God as their Creator and teaching their children divine precepts. Science and history, math, social studies took on new meaning when they let God enter the picture.

Number 4: In the fourth place, John and Deborah identified with other believers in a church fellowship that followed and practiced Biblical principles. Holiness in marriage, they believed, could best be experienced by association with other people who practiced godly standards. In this way, they could encourage others as well as be encouraged. Holiness, they learned, is letting Christ be the center of their marriage. To their great enjoyment, married life began to be a foretaste of heaven.

John and Deborah were not faultless, of course. They saw that the Christian life involves more than outward standards of holy living. If a person emphasizes “law” over love, then a person can go to extremes. It is possible for a person to be proper in outward obedience to Christ’s commands but be short in love, forbearance, and forgiveness.

John and Deborah sought help and counsel from other faithful believers. They wanted to be free from any wrong emphases in their pursuit of holiness. They prayed for daily guidance and a humble, teachable spirit. Their standard of holiness for themselves and their children was born out of love for God and their Saviour Jesus Christ. They took seriously 2 Corinthians 6:14—7:1 which teaches how necessary it is to be separated from ungodliness and unholiness. They claimed the promise of God and learned to lean on Him rather than their own understanding (Proverbs 3:5).

John and Deborah thanked God for leading them to a fellowship where they heard the truth and could see it lived in the lives of faithful Christians. Above that, they were thankful they could know the blessedness of holiness in their own marriage. They want others to come to the heavenly Father and experience it too. The way of the cross of Christ is not always easy but the rewards of peace and happiness are good now and eternally.

-by J. Luke Martin